from Sagit Harel.

At week 28, the doctor noticed a slowdown in growth,
At week 30, I was sent to the emergency room and hospitalized.
After a silent monitor, I was sent to the delivery room for the entire night, where she kindly allowed me to kick a few times and I was returned to the ward.
About two or three days later, silence again. This time I didn't come back.. At 8:25 in the morning, Ilayel was born by cesarean section, 1200 grams, breathing on her own, I saw her for a second when I lifted my head and heard a squeak of crying. Immediately afterwards, she passed into the arms of Dr. Alon Hacham, whom I would get to know well over the next two months.
I, for my part, went into recovery, 12 hours of nightmare. I forced myself to get up to see her.
The beginning was great. She breathed, ate, started gaining weight. Then trouble started.
A ductus that wouldn't close after two rounds of ibuprofen and finally, surgery at 16 days old. It went smoothly. It seemed great until... suddenly all the blood pressure machines couldn't measure her blood pressure. Crazy increase. 130/80 for those who understand. Blood pressure of an adult on a 1300 gram girl.
One kidney is not functioning. I will never forget the day I arrived at the hospital, and I was not allowed to enter. I peek… Everyone is on her incubator. All the seniors. From all the departments. Hysterical pressure. I went into automatic mode. Just not to feel. I will collapse if I feel anything.
A very critical situation. They decide to euthanize her. The girl had a heart attack, a ventilator, and pretty much everything else possible. For several days I didn't know what would happen. The senior doctor called her with characteristic sensitivity, "the sickest girl in the ward." Connected and fat from all the fluids, I told Dr. Alon with dark humor that at least I know what she'll look like when she gets fatter. They managed to get the ventilator out. And put it back in. A week of continuous nightmare. I was emotionally disconnected from myself. Completely.
Then, they took out the ventilator and she was breathing on her own. And suddenly everything calmed down. And one day she unexpectedly moved to the crib. Then to the other room. And they were already talking about discharge.
The day before discharge, the doctor told me that she wasn't gaining weight fast enough. And the discharge would be delayed. Here I broke down. How much I cried. Like I hadn't cried in two months. What's 175 grams already? Nothing! And she won't come home for that? She won't get up and she won't be.
She was released weighing 1825 grams. Corrected age minus two days.
I'm writing this and I can't believe, again, how much I've been through in two months. To this day, I don't like roller coasters.
This experience brought me in directions I hadn't thought of, to a new connection to myself.
I have a daughter who has gone through enough life experiences in two months to live to the age of 100. She is still fighting on several fronts and winning them all.
A happy and cheerful girl, very active, some would say frantic, going to first grade next year.
A girl of love.
Link to the video we made for our one-year birthday…