My Girl
The story started several years ago, right after we got married we said we were trying - it will work, it won't work, it won't burn. Time started to run and nothing moved, in the examinations at the doctor it becomes clear that you need to undergo treatments. Terrified and scared, we start treatments with lots and lots of hope for success and then the first negative comes - the heart is broken, shattering into pieces, but we don't give up, we look forward and try. This is how he undergoes treatment followed by another treatment and the negatives accumulate and quietly, almost 6 years pass by until we got pregnant, which this time manages to cross the 16th week.
Sunday 14.09.08 noon, father comes back from work, we lie down together to rest for a while in bed... suddenly everything is wet, feels strange and a sense of de je vu... there is water loss I'm sure of it, we get organized quickly and go to the hospital.
The fear is huge. What will? Week 27 is still too early. They say that it might be possible to pull, but at the moment the bigger problem is that there is no room in Fegia at Carmel Hospital. After checking with other hospitals, there is only room in Nahariya. The ambulance ride feels like forever. More than that, every day is important.
The evening falls and I feel chills, your pulse starts to rise to 180 and rises... My pulse and blood pressure also start to rise very high and the fever, the fever develops and rises and I feel endless chills.
There is no choice, there is a danger to your life and to my life, they put me into a caesarean section, but wait a minute, we didn't really talk in depth about what was going to happen, we didn't talk about an epidural and what was going on... there is no time, the little one needs to be saved.
The time is 21:35, suddenly a weak cry and disappears. You went out, but they quickly took you to a hospital for treatment and I didn't have time to see you.
Waiting to hear how you are doing. Father comes in and says that everything is fine, that they took you and are taking care of you and that you are red. Shows me first picture. You are small, but in the picture it is impossible to understand how small.
I'm waiting to see you, but I can't get out of bed yet. I get there with a wheelchair, I can hardly sit down, I can hardly stand up, I go to you... you are so small, my hand covers you all, the hair is really red, a chick, but this is my chick. I am a mother, yes I am a mother. The hand touches you a little And the tears stand in our eyes. We waited 6 years for this moment. We didn't think it would be early, we didn't think it would be like this, we didn't think about the rush, but here we are and it happened. We are mother and father to Zio who was born on 14.09.08 at 27+2 weeks of pregnancy at 21:35 weighing 1088 Gram and you are ours, all of you are ours.
I never liked a roller coaster, and no one prepared us for this roller coaster of life. Pegaia is a kind of roller coaster. The descents are very scary, the heart freezes.
We were in the hospital for 65 days, in the first weeks you were on antibiotics. A few hours after you were born you were a hero and didn't need a soul. You held on like that for a few days until that damn phone call, where we thought our world had collapsed. We thought that was it, it was all over. You stopped breathing and they had to resuscitate you. We quickly reached Pagia, and there you are lying pale and weak and my heart aches. This was just the beginning.
The days passed, you got stronger and again you were taken down from the soul. You've already returned to a closed incubator, but apparently you didn't like being there, and once again you had a drop in nutrition and you returned to the treatment table. I held your hand and sang to you and while I was talking to you, you slowly turned blue and the monitor started beeping. I call you, my beloved girl, pinch my heel a little, try to wake you up, and nothing. Then the nurses and doctors come racing in, it only took a few seconds but felt like forever. Dad and I went outside we couldn't stand there helpless when you almost fell through our fingers. The minutes passed but to us it seemed like hours. You can go in, everything is calm. You are breathing, still pale, but the situation is better.
The train in Fegia continues. They did an ultrasound and an echocardiogram, they found out that you have bleeding in the brain and cysts and also some point in the heart. Since the bleeding stopped, you have dilated ventricles, and we believe, as the doctor said, that there are children with a lot of brain problems, but geniuses and talents, that it is impossible to believe that their brains do not look like any normal brain.
The spot in my heart passed after a month, as if it had never been there, with a real magic touch.
You have grown, here you have crossed the kilo and a half. Mom and Dad are back at home sleeping and traveling every day to see you. Saturday morning we come to visit you go to your place and you are gone. The heart starts beating fast, and then we are called. Here she is here giving you a surprise in the warming cradle and they don't even warm you up, because you are simply amazing.
The days pass. They try to feed you with a bottle, but you are stubborn. I don't really like it (redhead, we already said), but also for nursing the weak. Don't give up, they already want to take you home. You keep trying all the time and you are growing and getting stronger, and after 65 days you are the first to receive the RSV vaccine in Peggy, today we are going home weighing 2340 grams, you have doubled your birth weight and after going through infections, jaundice, anemia, breathing problems and everything else is behind us, we are finally a real family . Now you can start living.
My Ziv, today you are 6 years old, you are already a big sister to little Dar. A smiling, smart, happy girl and the light of our lives. She still carries some leftovers from periods, but overcomes everything, as if nothing. I wish you a girl who will continue to smile and be happy.
Love You Mother.